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Horse Painting Dark and Light at Sunrise by Texas Contemporary Artist Laurie Pace

Dark and Light at Sunrise
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15 x 30 inches Oil on Canvas
December 2006   
 © Laurie Pace   Graphics One Design 1998-2011
Contact me: Laurie
     
Selfishness  
I was reading in a book last night about being selfish in relationships. As always my brain skips ahead to my life and my relationships...especially Terry and I.  Nope neither of us are selfish.   This OBVIOUSLY does not apply to us.

Wrong.  

The title of the chapter was "Love is not selfish". We do seem to exist in a world that is built around 'self'. We are taught from an early age to care about appearance, our feelings and our desires and goals.  If we want to be happy we have to seek these things.

Wrong.

This does not work in a relationship with another person.  Still as I read, I was still optimistic that this simply did not apply to Terry and me. We truly serve each other when we see the need.  The chapter continued on to say that almost every sin could be traced back to a selfish motive.  Our nature is to justify such actions in our self.  This is strange to have such high standards for our spouse than for ourselves.  When he is buried in the computer or TV I am always frowning. That is all he does.  AH...but when I complain about that and ALL the time I spend in cooking, cleaning, washing, working and painting...and he just sits in front of the screens....I am being selfish.

True love looks for ways to serve and meet needs before they are voiced.Genuine love leads to inner joy.  Take time to prioritize what you can do for your spouse with out any growing resentment. When you 'do' for them the glow of fulfillment is unbelievable and your spouse/mate will see your love shining for them.  In turn they will be reflecting this right back to you. 

What is your 'reputation' with your spouse? Do you complain all day or are you constantly directing them to do things?  OR do you have a loving reputation that they see you as a blessing in their life?  If you like me have those selfish tendencies, realize now your partner has a tough job of trying to love and do things for you...a selfish person.

Time to demonstrate love and concern for that special person in your life. I know  my selfishness is my art and my 'have to get this done' attitude when it comes to Artists of Texas or Contemporary Fine Art International.  What comes first, my husband and family, or my constant worry and work that go with painting? Is it time with Terry or time writing this blog? As an artist there is a constant need to create and if I answer that call, I am sitting in front of my easel working or in front of my own computer screen.

So be it a screen or an easel... Terry and I have much to reflect on when we spend our talk time together this afternoon.  I think after reading this chapter I understand I am guilty of selfishness in disguise of thinking "Well I have to work..."  

God will take care of what we need... He will provide the time and place for me to paint and I must take back into my heart the things I need to do to serve my husband with a contented heart and the same open love that I cherished years ago.  I spent hours planning special things for him and doing things for him.  Yes there are clean clothes, hot dinners, morning yogurt, and a daily walk.  I benefit from these as well, but none are directly special for him. 

They do not compare to a tiny white box with a heart handkerchief and a special personal poem written just for him.  They do not compare to little notes taped to the mirror in the bathroom...or even writing I LOVE YOU on the toilet paper before he uses it.

Or what about preplanning a trip in an antique SNJ airplane for him for his birthday when we were in NY for an art show? 

The deepest question again to take to heart is: "What is your reputation with your spouse?"  How do others see you?

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