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21 May 2009

Windows of My Mind Abstract Oil Painting by Laurie Justus Pace

30 x 30 inches
Oil on Canvas


"Nathan replied to the king, "Whatever you have in mind, go ahead and do it, for the LORD is with you." 2 Samuel 7:3

Exercise today. Keeps the body and mind young. Think today of all the people in your life that are important. Some might be important for good reasons, some other for not so good reasons. Jot down their names, the relationship and then what might need to be worked on to ensure the relationship is healthy.

What is a healthy relationship? For years studies have shown that people with healthy relationships really do have a deeper sense of contentment and less stress. With each of the people on your list... do you have a feeling of contentment when reflecting on the full relationship?

1. Expectations. This applies to your self and the other person. No one can be everything we want them to be. That is how we set ourselves up for disappointment. Realizing this is key to learning to accept others are they really are and not trying to change them.

2. Care for yourself. For those of us who are caretakers, you have a tendency to try and please everybody. Don't forget about yourself along the way. You must be mindfully healthy to be in a healthy relationship.

3. Communication. Usually there cannot be enough. Take the time to be there and to be listening and not just talking. Genuinely listen. Don't be mind jumping ahead on what you want to say next and don't interrupt them. ALWAYS there are underlying emotions in conversations that you need to be keying in on. (This is back to regulation and deregulation and taking three to save thirty.) Ask Questions. Be interested in what is being said, ask questions and seek opinions keeping the door open to more communication. Be generous and share information with out bragging or with out overwhelming others. The Greek philosopher, Epictectus said, "Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak."

4. Dependability. Follow through if you make plans or make a commitment. Do your job. Be responsible and be trustworthy. Trust is a key element to a good relationship.

5. Time. Healthy relationships don't just happen over night. Every relationship is built on experience over time. Invest in those that are precious to you. Take the time and make the time...then give it time.

6. Flexible. Oh it is so easy to keep things the way they are....change is something most of us do not like. If we do not open our minds to change and flexing, we cannot grow. You may be stagnant in a relationship because you have that person pegged as something you have built in your mind and you truly have not taken the time to know ...really know who they are. Stop trying to control and prethink a situation or a person.

7. Fight fair. Everyone disagrees at one time or another. Conflict is unavoidable as we are all individuals. It does not mean you cannot agree to disagree and it definitely does not mean you have to dislike this person when they disagree with you. Remember to set aside a time to talk about the issue. Negotiation and stepping back to view a situation from a different angle is always good. Do not criticize others. Do not open conversations with YOU.... YOU make me... will not cut it. Try "I feel.... when this happens." Both sides should have ample time to express themselves. Don't assume how someone else feels. Don't hold grudges and realize that you may have to just agree to disagree.

8. Warmth. Genuine you know what this is? Stand in front of your mirror this morning and smile. Then smile and feel warmth communicating with your expression deep sentiment. Can you see the difference in your expression?

9. Balance. No one else can balance your life... only you can. Do not overload on projects and things to do or you will not have the energy to be in healthy relationships....that includes being a parent.

10. Be Yourself. Don't ever pretend in a relationship to be someone you are not. God has blessed you with so much rich qualities and gifts to share with others...stay YOU-NIQUELY YOU!

After reflecting on this, how is your relationship with God? Work on that one first as you reflect on this list.


"However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him." "— 1 Corinthians 2:9

1 comment:

Kay Wyne said...

Great painting...wonderful colors and lines. Love it!

Laurie Justus Pace Contemporary Texas Artist


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