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08 January 2009

no. 8 Watching Over Her
Contemporary Daily Painting Horse Art by Laurie Justus Pace

24 x 30 x 2 inches Oil on Canvas

Grumpy.... Is Grumpy in the bible? I didn't see it in my quick reference section. So I am sitting here trying to define the fog in my brain. Could it be discouragement? Or is it conflict? When I woke at 2:00 a.m., Terry was messing with his alarm clock and suddenly I was awake thinking it was time to rise and shine. One blink of my eye noted it was not only NOT time to wake up, but I had only been asleep four hours at best. He went back to sleep as I discovered my head was pounding in my left sinus and that began the process of rolling around and NOT going back to sleep. By 3:00 a.m., the squirrels were up running on the treadmill and there was no way sleep would be had. By 4:20, I was ready to go back to sleep, but knew I had to get up in fifteen minutes so I didn't do it.

The squirrels literally dug up a bunch of dust from the back of my brain and caused thoughts to build and multiply at frightening levels. Sort of when you get up you have a full head of steam going and a several directions to maneuver for the day intending to resolve all the issues now built up from simple treadmill dust to be giant rocky mountains to climb.

I believe I am discouraged and there is conflict in my life due to relationships where boundaries have disappeared. Out of this arises conflict. When this occurs on several levels the squirrels in your head have a hay day. Mine did. As I hit the computer this morning, I read email first. Perfect way to put your own personal issues on hold. I discovered a note from a fellow artist that is in a creativity block. She wrote to me from an icy cold snowed in civilization in Wisconsin. It was her vivid description of gloomy days and high snow banks that made me realize why winter in Texas is really very nice. She reminded me through her short note expressing her past year (2008 was a hard year for many of us) that GOD was still in charge. She unknowingly ministered to me as she had discovered my blog from Daily Painters. She lost her mom a year ago.

For a woman, losing a mom is losing part of your heart and your life. This is the woman that gave you love as you grew and constantly nurtured you into adulthood. Your heart echoed her heartbeat until you grew to be a woman in your own right, and then her heart echoed yours as she watched you grow to full beauty in your life discovering who you were and making your mark on the world. Seven years of full recovery is what we found with the loss of my mother-in-law. Seven years accompanied by occasional dismal moments of WHAT IF she had lived and still been here to share in our lives? WHY did you take her so early from us? I am angry Lord. I am hurt and disappointed. I feel so alone and abandoned....

God called her home to brighten the heavens. She left you a legacy to continue this earthly journey being the best you can be. In every painting you do, allow her spirit to be in the colors and allow the memories to stay alive as you create. Rejoice as she is in the best place she could be....

The rest of us are here on earth muddling along, dealing with the world. Me? I will be dealing with new boundaries. For those of you out there feeling discouraged, you are not alone. For those of you that are in conflict, again you are not alone.

"He said, "Listen, King Jehoshaphat! Listen, all you people of Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says "Do not be afraid! Don't be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God's. Tomorrow, march out against them. You will find them coming up through the ascent of Ziz at the end of the valley that opens into the wilderness of Jeruel. But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the Lord's victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afriad or discouraged. Go out there tomorrow, for the Lord is with you!" 2 Chronicles 20:15-17.

Stand firm with me, let go and let God. We do not have to fight these battles, but trust in Him to lead the offense. You do not have to carry it by are not alone.

The battle is not yours, but God's....discouragement often comes after a great spiritual experience.


"Overcoming discouragement brings great blessings." Galatians 6:9


Diana Moses Botkin said...

Well those darn squirrels can wreak havoc on sleep, as you point out. Don't you just hate that?!

Texas winters sound pretty good right now. We're having a difficult winter up here in north Idaho, making living a challenge and painting an impossibility some days.

Vicki Robison said...

What a gifted artist and writer you are. Thanks for your words of advice, encouragement, and inspiration.

Laurie Justus Pace Contemporary Texas Artist


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