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08 March 2008

PIGGING OUT

Farm Animals Pig Art by Laurie Justus Pace

15 x 30 inches Oil on Gallery Wrap Canvas
Contact me to purchase: Laurie


My deep reflection certainly DOES not match the painting I have posted. This was painted last week on Thursday as my world began to shift and change. When my father arrived he was quite taken by my piggies and every time he sits here in the studio with me watching TV, his eyes drift over to the pigs on the wall and he begins to chuckle telling me what a fine painting of pigs I have done.

Yesterday morning I fed him breakfast at Terry's second desk overlooking the TV close up and personal. He was involved watching the local news as they spun cameras around at over 800 wrecks in the icy snow. (yes this is Dallas and it is March) He would shake his head and tell me that he gave up driving a few years back and Mom does all the driving now. I heard that sentence about eight times and then he expounded his thoughts. "Some things change and you need to change with it. You can't go back and do what you used to do and expect things to be normal. Things change. You have to change." Those were his words.... he was referring to not driving and adjusting to it. He never fought it when Mom told him he could not drive. I remember all of us kids DREADED that day. Dad is fiercely independent and a very aggressive driver. I used to wonder about the defibrillator that he wore going off and then the Alzheimers crept in and then we worried about him loosing his way driving. He did several times and the last time was on a Sunday when he was following my mother to church and he neglected to turn off the highway. He kept going. Imagine my mother's dread as she watched him in the mirror take off going west at 50 mph. The Dallas Police found him several hours later. That was the last day he drove.

"Some things change and you need to change with it. You can't go back and do what you used to do and expect things to be normal. Things change. You have to change."

If my dad were physically disabled there would be NO question of the need for him to be in a special needs place to help him. The disability of the mind is hard when the body is still working. In fact, his heart is improving. But watching my mother go downhill to this point because she is so drained from care taking is heartbreaking. Thinking of moving my dad to an Alzheimer's facility is heart wrenching. Every bit of wisdom in me knows this has to be done. And every hope in me knows he will never be the Father I knew in my earlier life. Trying to climb out of the box of guilt is hard. Every piece of literature I read says the patient does better in a structured environment. But part of me feels it means we are giving up hope. I have to listen now to my Father's own words...over and over in my head.

"Some things change and you need to change with it. You can't go back and do what you used to do and expect things to be normal. Things change. You have to change."

Trusting in the Lord and the wisdom He has provided; tagged with my Father's own wisdom, letting go and letting God; stepping out in faith from the boat to walk on the water; Lord give my family the strength to take this journey.

Grace,
Laurie

Post note on Mom: She has had four blood transfusions of condensed red blood cells as they raise her hemoglobin count. It was less than five and they are trying to bring it up to the norm, 12-14 in women. Her color is good and she is resting.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

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Laurie Justus Pace Contemporary Texas Artist

© LAURIE JUSTUS PACE GRAPHICS ONE DESIGN 1998-2011

All images, artwork and wording on this site are copyrighted. Reproduction of any image with out the expressed written permission of Laurie Justus Pace, Graphics One Design, dba is prohibited and protected by Copyright.

Copyright 1998-2011, all rights reserved. Texas Premier Contemporary Modern Artist, Laurie Justus Pace.


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